


How Elk Happened To The Greenleaf Family (And How The Greenleaf Family Happened To Elk)

by bodysnatch3r



Series: The Heistverse [3]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-15
Updated: 2014-04-15
Packaged: 2018-01-19 13:18:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1471264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bodysnatch3r/pseuds/bodysnatch3r
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Scotland Yard is a perfectly efficient, absolutely pristine and utterly organised place: Elrond Peredhel makes sure of that.<br/>That is until a two year old Great Dane who is, in fact, much too scared of big crowds and loud people to be a police dog somehow ends up in his office. And Elrond Peredhel happens to be a cat person.<br/><em>Not</em> a dog person.<br/>It is, of course, up to Thranduil and Tauriel to save the day, calm the dog and stop Lindir from having a complete meltdown.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How Elk Happened To The Greenleaf Family (And How The Greenleaf Family Happened To Elk)


      **2012**
    

 Lindir is a good man. He is honest, he works hard, he might not have Glorfindel's hair or Glorfindel's PR skills, but his vegan lasagna is  _legendary_.

Of course, he is currently sitting on the floor across from his boss' office door. He sighs.

He shouldn't be dealing with  _this_ -

_This_ being a gigantic, enormous, terrified dog. Which is currently hiding under his boss' desk.

Lindir thinks about a lot of different things he could be doing, right now, like paperwork, or shredding documents, or getting himself a coffee, or  _anything but having to deal with this mess_.

_Really_. He pays his taxes. He arrests criminals for a living. He's never shoplifted, never used hard drugs, never not helped his elderly neighbour with her groceries. 

He shouldn't be dealing with this. 

A small crowd has assembled around him: Lindir prays that nobody is taking photographs. Or filming. Or telling Elrond who's currently, _blessedly_  in a meeting that a giant panic-stricken dog has invaded his office.

Lindir suspects that at least two out of three of those things are already happening.

He stands up, feels his back pop uncomfortably, and sighs.

"Dog? Listen. I'll call you Dog for now. Dog, this is getting ridiculous."

The dog whines louder in reply.

"You are a  _predator_ , a brother of wolves. This is embarrassing, Dog. It really is."

The dog doesn't reply this time. Lindir can hear the panicked scraping of nails against the floor. He takes a few steps into the room and the dog literally  _bolts_ from its hiding place and races to the furthest corner of the room, trembling, its tail between its legs, leash still attached to his collar. A framed picture of Arwen, Elladan and Elrohir topples to the floor and breaks, and Lindir groans. But the dog looks at him with wide, panic-stricken eyes and he cannot help feeling sorry for it.

He doesn't know who or what or why, but it reminds him of someone.

"Do you. Uh. Need help?" Erestor awkwardly chimes in.

"No! Nope, it's all  _perfectly_ under control, Erestor, thank you."

Thranduil narrows his eyes at the small crowd assembled. He's got a paper cup of coffee in one hand and a cookie in his mouth that was hastily stuffed between his teeth the moment he realised he was late for work and had to rush out of the Starbucks down the street. The elevator happily chimes shut behind him.

"Good... morning?"

He walks up next to Tauriel and tilts his head to the side, utterly confused.

"What's going on?"

Tauriel sighs.

"Erestor brought a dog to the office. Well. I mean. He found himself with a dog that was  _technically_ one of the DAT's sniffer dogs but apparently can't work anymore 'cause it's traumatised, so. Yeah. Erestor brought a dog to the office. It's not his, though. And now it's under Elrond's desk."

"It's what?"

"Under Elrond's desk."

Thranduil swallows what's left of the cookie and glances at Tauriel.

"Elrond's allergic to dogs."

"We know."

"And the dog's in his office."

" _Yes it is_."

(He also happens to hate them).

"You! You two!  _Sylvan_!  _Greenleaf_!"

Lindir rushes out of Elrond's office, wades his way through the giggling crowd and stomps up to the puzzled-looking duo. He looks positively  _desperate_ , and Thranduil's scared he'll collapse any moment: he's certainly pale and dead-looking.

"Are either of you good with animals?"

"I have a six year old."

Tauriel giggles into her hand at Thranduil's joke.

" _Great_. How _about_ -" and Lindir's grabbing Thranduil's wrist, dragging him across the floor and pushing him into Elrond's office, " _you_ deal with this."

"With the dog?"

A whine comes from the darkest corner of the room.

"Yes. With the dog."

Tauriel is right behind Lindir. Thranduil glances at her and then back at Elrond's office. The dog whines louder and Thranduil can see its basically  _pressed_ against the wall, looking at the humans around it with growing intensity and ever-present absolute terror.

He glares at Lindir. Lindir gives him the thumbs up, Thranduil sighs, rams his coffee cup into Lindir's hand and then stoops low, at dog-level. 

"Hey there, buddy."

The dog whines and tries to hide: it's so big it can't.

"Hush, it's okay, it's all okay. I'm not gonna hurt you."

Thranduil's voice is low, and now that he can see the dog, he notices it's one _hell_ of a beast. A Great Dane, sand-colored, black ears, also quite possibly the biggest scaredy cat he's ever met.

These two facts combined make the animal in front of him painstakingly adorable (at least in his eyes. In Lindir's, it is just painstakingly _unstoppable_ ).

Thranduil outstretches his hand.

"See? It's all cool."

Lindir stares at him and then at Tauriel. 

" _It's working._ "

Tauriel opens her palms in reply:  _I guess it is_.

It's working.

Is it working?

The dog tentatively leans forward, sniffing Thranduil's hand. It stops inches from it, gives a good long sniff, then starts moving forward again, until its snout is basically smashed against Thranduil's nose. The two stare at each other.

And then the dog tilts its head to the side.

"Oh my God."

"What?"

Lindir turns towards Tauriel again, eyes wide, mouth hanging open. His brain has just clicked into place.

"The dog."

"What about the dog, Lindir?"

" _It's_ Thranduil. But in _dog form_."

Thranduil tilts his head, too. They give each other a hard, inquisitive (on the dog's part), conspiratorial (on Thranduil's part) look, and then Greenleaf reaches down and grabs the dog's leash. 

"There we go. Good doggie,  _good_."

He ruffles its fur and the dog starts wagging. The two trot past Lindir, who is utterly flabbergasted, and stop in front of the door to Thranduil's office. They click, it's absurd, they almost look like the same being: the gait, the lankiness, even the head-tilt. Lindir stares at the two and then Erestor appears like a heavenly messenger of giant havoc-wrecking dogs, and says:

"It needs a home, you know."

"What? _No_. Thranduil can't keep a dog."

Lindir, ever the voice of reason, is sternly staring at Erestor.

"What do you mean I can't keep a dog?"

"You have. A. A  _six year old_. That's already a _massive_ responsibility."

The dog presses its wet, cold snout into Thranduil's hand, demanding head scritches. Thranduil scratches the bridge of the dog's nose. The dog sneezes. It sneezes again.

The thing is huge, and it's sneezing. 

Shit.

Lindir surprises himself thinking the thing is adorable.

"Elk." Thranduil says.

"Excuse me?"

"Elk. It looks like an Elk, don't you think?"

It takes Lindir, Erestor and Tauriel a second to realise he's talking about naming the dog.

"You want to name it... Elk?"

Thranduil nods.

"Yeah. Legs'll go nuts. Besides, I think we all need a friend. Don't we, Elk?"

He scratches the dog under its chin and the beast starts wagging even harder. It pants, happy, and Thranduil smiles at it.

"Lindir?" comes a voice, suddenly.

Erestor freezes. Tauriel freezes. Lindir freezes. Thranduil freezes.

Elk keeps on wagging its tail.

"Lindir?" Elrond Peredhel asks, staring at the dog in front of him with a look of complete bewilderment and shock, " _why is there a dog on the office floor?"_


End file.
